yum yum yum girly drinks and a shit load of pot are gunna make me numb

so ive been a bit dead inside today, really for no good reason at all.. but despite my effort to control it, the misery prevails. yeah so um im gunna take the next hour off to peruse the neighborhood liqueur stores for some girly drink fixins. im thinking some pineapple infused lethal rum and well, i dunno some other knock me on my ass girly booze will probably do the trick. god knows im the size of a small elephant, so guzzling straight from the bottle may be necessary. honestly, my goal is to get so fucked up i knock myself out from 6pm until tomorrow morning and hopefully dont have a hang over.

cheers.

here are some the misery cocktails i shall be trying:

Kermit The Frog Piss recipe

1 oz Midori® melon liqueur

1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum

2 oz sweet and sour mix

top with 7-Up® soda

Donkey Semmen recipe

1 1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum

2 oz sweet and sour mix

2 oz soda water

Put 4 ice cubes in shaker. Add ingredients. shake well and serve in a margarita glass. Garnish with lime.

TROPICAL HOOTER PUNCH

Taste the tropics with this combination of Malibu, Melon Liqueur, Pineapple and Cranberry Juices:

1.75 Liter Malibu

12 Oz. Melon Liqueur

1 Quart. Pineapple Juice

1 Quart. Cranberry Juice

Mix all ingredients in a large punch bowl.

Serve well chilled and garnish with orange slices and cherries.

MALIBU SQUEEZE PUNCH

A great new twist on an old favorite-Malibu and Lemonade Punch:

1.75 Liter Malibu

3 Quarts Lemonade

Mix all ingredients in a large punch bowl.

Serve well chilled and garnish with lemon slices.

those cookies brady always used to whine about

Delectable Chocolate Slices

I cant remember what we used to call these cookies, but i do remember them vividly from my early childhood. I remember my mom making them at the kitchen table and Mike Brady from across the street whining and bitching every time he came over for my mother to make him some. She never did tho, serves him right for annoying the shit out of her. I had no idea as a kid what these things were, i just knew they had that funny booze taste and the bitterness of dark chocolate. According to the recipe its a mixture of butter, powdered sugar, cocoa powder, crushed cookies, liquor, & uncooked eggs, which is then shaped into a log, chilled & sliced.

Ingredients:

- 10 tablespoons butter, softened.

- 2/3 cup powdered sugar

- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

- 2 eggs

- 2 tablespoons cointreau or rum

- Raisins and walnuts

- 10 Marie Lu Biscuits (or vanilla wafers), crushed coarsely

Preparation:

Cream Butter and sugar together. Add sifted cocoa, beat together; add one egg a time, beating well after each. Add the cointreau. Mix till smooth. Now fold in crushed biscuits, nuts and raisins till well coated with chocolate. On a rectangle of foil about 12" long, place the mixture lengthwise down the center, in the shape of a log. Lift the foil to cover the chocolate mixture, shaping it into a triangular log. Refrigerate for 6-8 hours. Cut into thin slices to serve.

ok im offically in love with whoever is cooking this stuff. your my fat foodie friend forever

Beating the heat: Shrimp-Zucchini-Cherry Tomato Pastastolen from: http://wineguyworld.blogspot.com/2009/06/berry-good.html

This is a recipe i found from tastespotting, the internet's mecca for foodporn. i havent had a chance to try it just yet, but it looks and sounds so fucking delicious im sorta annoyed with myself that i havent given more of an effort. Here is a bit of what the dude who made it said about it:

When it comes to food, I'm what you might call a carb-whore. Bread, pizza, especially pasta....all good! It's 96* out as I type this and on a day like this I don't even want to stand next to a grill to take the heat outside. But I would want something fast, easy, light, and most of all delicious. This super seasonal pasta is just that. I know some people lose their appetite when it gets hot. Sadly, I'm not one of them. I could have the devil jabbing my ass with his pitchfork in hell and I'd still be eyeing the never ending pasta bowl. Oh wait, that sounds like Olive Garden, doesn't it? Hell....Olive Garden...hm, same thing I guess. Anyway, the point being that this bowl of happiness is just the ticket to put down on your dinner table when it's to effing hot outside. You would also be wise to throw a bottle or two of Italian white in the fridge. Maybe a refreshing Tocai-Friulano or a crisp Vermentino. Just make sure it's all stainless fermented so that nasty oak taste doesn't get in the way of your edible enjoyment!

*** *** ***
Shrimp-Zucchini-Cherry Tomato Pasta
serves 3 or 4

ingredients:
2 tablespoons butter (or olive oil if you must)
16-20 medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
4 or 5 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon chili flakes (or to taste)
2 medium zucchini or other summer squash, cut into 1/4" slices
1 or 2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
1 pound dry pasta, fusilli or penne rigate
1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

method:
Bring water to boil in large pasta pot. Add small handful of salt, then pasta. Cook to desired doneness. Meanwhile, melt butter (or put olive oil) in large (12") sauté pan over medium high heat. When butter melts, add garlic and chili flakes and stir for 30-45 seconds. Add shrimp and cook about 1-2 minutes per side, until done. Put shrimp into bowl and set aside. In same pan add one tablespoon butter. When melted add zucchini and sauté until slightly softened, but still firm, about four minutes. Add shrimp back to pan, stir in tomatoes and chopped basil. Drain cooked pasta and add to sauté pan. Mix together carefully to combine. Serve immediately with grated parmigiano and generous helping of white wine!

back yard movie shoot- why cant they annoy all the cool indie kids in columbia heights with this shit?

Streets to Close as Film Crew Heads to Adams Morgan Thursday

We heard from several readers that the film crew for the James L. Brooks-helmed Owen Wilson/Reese Witherspoon/Paul Rudd flick were camped along 7th Street NW in Penn Quarter today, and word from DDOT is that they'll be in Adams Morgan tomorrow. Several road closures will be in effect in the post-rush hour morning due to the filming. From the release!

Due to production activities tomorrow, Thursday, June 18, in the Adams Morgan neighborhood, Adams Mill Road, NW between Calvert Street and Columbia Road will be closed between 9:30am and 1:30pm. Also, there will be intermittent traffic control (temporary short closures) of Columbia Road at Adams Mill Road and 18th Street during filming.

Detour Information: All vehicles will have access to and from Calvert Street and Columbia Road at 18th Street and the Adams Morgan area via Cliffborne Place and Biltmore Street. These two streets both feed and connect Calvert Street and Columbia Road at18th Street. Metro and Circulator buses will be rerouted. The Metropolitan Police Department will be on-site to assist with traffic detours.

Curry Mango Grilled Chicken and Impromptu Pasta Salad

my parents came to visit for my birthday this past week and my dad got me a nice gas grill for my balcony. i feel like it goes without saying that grilling is by far the superior mode of cooking, so ive been grilling burgers and chicken like crazy ever since i got it and below is the first photo shoot. oh- isnt my new cactus cute?

Ingredients:

- 2 boneless, skinless chicken thighs

- 1/4 cup Curry Mango Marinade

- 1 cup color Rotelli cooked as directed (this is for a single serving)

- 2 tablespoons ceasar salad dressing

- 1 heart handful of cherry tomatoes

- 1/4 of an onion cut into thin slices 

- 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

- 1/6 cup diced red and/or yellow peppers

Preparation:

I recommend marinating the chicken for a couple of hours, but if your in a rush or are hungry like i usually am by the time i start cooking, just coat the chicken in the marinade and let it sit while you boil the water for the pasta Marinate chicken for a couple of hours in the fridge before heating grill and grilling on medium -medium high until juice run clear. 

cook pasta as directed and toss with veggies, feta, and ceasar dressing. i didnt have any feta, but really wanted it in there, so im just including it in the ingredients. also, if i had some, i would have grilled zucchini and added that as well. 

is it? or isnt it all my fault? NY Times article says, “There are physiological mechanisms that keep us from losing weight,”

so im reading the new york times for work, researching about the new kennedy healthy american choices act for my analysis of it and found this article about fat people that reminds me of the recycled new years day conversation i just had with vanessa yesterday.  however for the time being, lets go ahead and blame her..

"In fact, new research suggests that the environment that most strongly influences body composition may be the very first one anybody experiences: the womb.

According to several animal studies, conditions during pregnancy, including the mother’s diet, may determine how fat the offspring are as adults. Human studies have shown that women who eat little in pregnancy, surprisingly, more often have children who grow into fat adults. More than a dozen studies have found that children are more likely to be fat if their mothers smoke during pregnancy."

pork chop a la harris- heart attack style

Ingredients:

1 package pork chops (cut into small bite sized pieces if your in a rush)
1 green pepper (diced)
1 red pepper (diced)
1 onion (diced)
1.5 tablespoons minced garlic (or to taste)
2 cans Turkey Gravy (keep a third can handy, just in case you need it.)
1/4 cup white wine (i heart Sauvignon blanc)
salt, pepper, thyme, sage to taste
1/2 container fresh mushrooms
1 cup frozen peas
olive oil
white rice or mashed potatoes (prepared according to package)

Preparation:
- oil a skillet and heat on medium to medium high
- add diced onion, red and green peppers, and sweat until onions are translucent
- add garlic and pork and season well with salt, pepper, thyme, and sage
- saute pork and veggies until pork is no longer pink
- add half of the white wine (try not to ignite the pan into an arm searing flambay) and with a wooden spoon "scrub" the brown bits and pork drippings baked onto the bottom of the pan to loosen and dissolve into the sauce. (you may not realize it, but that baked on brown stuff is a hotpot of porky flavor goodness)
- add mushrooms and 2 cans of turkey gravy, make sure there is enough gravy to cover the pork
- check for seasoning and add in the rest of the wine and the peas.
- cover and simmer until pork is tender and tasty

serve over rice and try not to die. oh, i mean.. enjoy.

pudding oreo parfait

1 container of fat free chocolate pudding

4 table spoons fat free whipped topping

5 mini oreo cookies

this is so easy im not going to bother explaining preparation- if you cant throw this stuff together without step by step instructions, you should starve. (i mean that in the sweetest way possible)

Bring it tofu princess- my alfredo sauce will wreck you

so i was chatting on the phone with my best bud yesterday while i was doing some last minute grocery shopping at safeway, and i mentioned my impromptu dinner menu. For a quick pasta meal, i dont think you can beat a nice mushroom alfredo with gemelli pasta, peas, spinach and sautéed chicken. Looking to save time and lets be honest, effort, i opted to buy jarred sauce rather than labor all night over a homemade alfredo. To say the very least, i was bauked at and ridculed for my laziness by my pal. This pissed me off, not because she was right and it was annoying for her to point it out, but because it came from a girl whose very own homemade alfredo rivals the taste and consistency of skim milk! (i know, low blow right? but its totally true, the girl hasnt seen the likes of whole milk or cream in over 15 years, EASY!)

anyhow, i was starving and impatient ended up throwing this quick monday night pasta dish together in no time right after challenging VB to an alfredo cookoff. All i have to say to vanessa is: BRING IT tofu princess, i will wreck you!

ingredients:

- 1/3 box barilla gemelli pasta (cooked to al dente)

- 1 jar alfredo sauce of your choice (i heart bertolli)

- salt

- pepper

- 1/4 cup frozen peas

- few handfuls of fresh spinach

- 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms

- 1/2 lb chicken breast

- 1 tablespoon minced garlic

- 1/3 cup chopped onion

- 1 tablespoon olive oil

Preparation:

in a saute pan, saute the chopped onion and minced garlic with some salt and pepper. add in the mushrooms and continue sauteing for a couple of minutes. Add in chicken and cook until no longer pink and then add in spinach and adjust salt/pepper as needed then cover until spinach wilts. add in alfredo sauce and simmer.

in the meantime fire up some salted water and cook the pasta as directed on the package. once al dente, drain and toss with alfredo mixture.

tea and enlightenment, please.

after living in a filthy hell for a year, there is really nothing like living alone, especially in a cute little apartment with a great balcony. i really am enjoying waking up mornings after a rainless night and having some tea while reading email or the news online. actually, who am i kidding, im reading perez and dcist and contemplating breakfast... 

whats that fabulous plant chillaxing in the background? well thats my azela bush, the one i purchased from the cute jewish boy from comedy class junior year. 

saturday morning breakfast on the porch was pretty simple-- multi-grain english muffin with peanut butter and granny apple slices along with vanilla yogurt, cinnamon granola and a single raspberry. 

the most glorious part of this breakfast was smashing up the raspberry to make instant raspberry yogurt, way better than that shit squeezed into a container.

what the hell is Cherry Clafouti?

I keep seeing these impressive desserts all over some of the fancy pants food blogs like tastespotting and 101 cookbooks and i keep thinking that ive got to butter up my this pleasantly plump blog of mine with some of those tasty treats. they look pretty fucking easy too, requiring few ingredients and little bakeware to boot. 

so what the hell is cherry clafouti? other than basically impossible to pronounce, clafouti is a custard-like baked french dessert that is typically made by baking fresh fruit (like cherries) and a batter, somewhat similar to a pancake batter, in a baking dish (at least thats what wikipedia tells me). Apparently, when other kinds of fruit, such as plums, prunes, apples, cranberries, or blackberries are used instead of cherries, the dessert is call a "flognarde" (an even harder name to pronounce). whatever it is, it sounds like it would be especially tasty made with blueberries and accompanied by some tea. 

Traditional clafoutis recipes call for using cherries with their pits still in, which are supposed to lend some almond flavor to the dish. In this recipe the pits are removed, making the clafouti easier to eat, but you can do it either way.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 cups of fresh sweet cherries, pitted
• 2 tablespoons of slivered almonds
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1 tablespoon of brown sugar
• 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour, sifted
• 1/8 teaspoon of salt
• 1 cup of whole milk
• 1 Tbsp of Amaretto -or- 3/4 teaspoon of almond extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
• Powdered sugar for dusting

METHOD

1 Preheat the oven to 350F. Butter and lightly flour a 9X9 or 10X7 baking dish. Toss in the cherries and slivered almonds.

2 Whisk the eggs, sugars, salt, and flour together until smooth.

3 Add the milk, Amaretto (or almond extract, if using), and vanilla extract. Whisk until smooth. Pour into the baking dish.

 

4 Bake for 40-50 minutes or until lightly browned and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. When you pull it put of the oven it will wiggle a bit which is normal. Place on a wire rack to cool. The clafoutis will have puffed up quite a bit and will deflate while cooling. When cool dust the clafoutis with powdered sugar. Serve.

Serves 6.

Late night salmon with fresh broccoli orzo

i pretty much spent today smoking pot and eating animal crackers so passing out from 4pm until just around 9:30ish was no real surprise, but nevertheless i was hungry. Ever since starting at my new job i have started to embrace fish like salmon more but ive never had the balls to try preparing it myself. actually, i lie. stephanie and i attempted a grapefruit balsamic glazed salmon one year for our florida surf and turf Christmas but it came out very tart and i dont remember liking it much. Anyhow, in a lame attempt to mix in some yummy lean proteins into my usual diet of cupcakes, grilled cheese and waffles, i sucked it up and bought a bag of frozen alaskan salmon fillets and this quick tasty meal is my very first success!

Pan seared salmon with lemon and herbs

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 2 friendly squeezes of a lemon
• 1 teaspoon seasoning salt (i heart goya adobo)
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 (2 1/4-pound) salmon fillet
• Olive Oil

Preparation

Coat the bottom of a skillet with olive oil and heat to medium high

Place salmon fillet into a bowl and sprinkle with seasoning salt, pepper, and squeeze fresh lemon over it.

Place into heated skillet skin side down and cook until fillet flakes easily when tested with a fork or until desired degree of doneness.

Fresh Broccoli Orzo

Ingredients

1 small head of broccoli cut into small bite sized peices

1 table spoon minced garlic

2 cups water

1 hearty squeeze of fresh lemon juice

2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese

1/3 box of orzo (i heart barilla)

2 tablespoons butter (i heart smart balance)

salt

pepper

Preparation

Bring a pan with 2 cups of salted water and 1 tablespoon of garlic to a boil

toss in broccoli and orzo and boil until both are tender but al dente and drain (careful to reserve some of the garlic broccoli broth)

Pour broccoli and orzo back into the pan and combine with butter, tiny bit of broth, parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, lemon juice and ENJOY!

skinny boys can be fat girls too

roasted salmon with citrus and herbs

Yield

6 servings (serving size: 4 1/2 ounces salmon)

Ingredients

• 1  tablespoon  finely chopped fresh parsley
• 1  tablespoon  finely chopped fresh thyme
• 1  tablespoon  minced garlic
• 2  teaspoons  grated lemon rind
• 2  teaspoons  grated lime rind
• 1  teaspoon  sea salt
• 1/2  teaspoon  freshly ground black pepper
• 1  (2 1/4-pound) salmon fillet
• Cooking spray

Preparation

Preheat oven to 400°.

Combine first 7 ingredients in a small bowl. Place salmon on the rack of a broiler pan coated with cooking spray; place rack in pan. Rub parsley mixture over salmon. Bake at 400° for 15 minutes or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork or until desired degree of doneness.

Nutritional Information

Calories:

282 (42% from fat)

Fat:

13.3g (sat 3.1g,mono 5.7g,poly 3.2g)

Protein:

36.3g

Carbohydrate:

1g

Fiber:

0.3g

Cholesterol:

87mg

Iron:

0.7mg

Sodium:

464mg

Calcium:

26mg

Karen Ensign, Providence, Utah, Cooking Light, NOVEMBER 2005

Anthony Bourdain's 13 Places to Eat Before You Die

Anthony Bourdain's 13 Places to Eat Before You Die

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too appropriate

will it ever stop raining? black bean chili

the rain has been pounding down in dc for days now and basically annoying the shit out of me. Mostly because I have this great balcony that has been soaking wet and heartbreakingly inhospitable for far too long. i cant tell you what the unconscious connection is between rain and chili, but black bean turkey chili seemed more and more to be what i needed to soothe this aching heart of mine. below is a recipe i stumbled on somewhere, cant remember

where:  

        

Black bean chili

Basic ingredients:
Onion
Garlic 
Bell pepper
15.5-ounce can low-sodium black beans
14.5-ounce can chicken broth
14.5-ounce can stewed tomatoes
Ground turkey (1/2 pound)

Heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add first 3 ingredients and turkey; cook for 6 minutes or until turkey is done, stirring frequently to crumble. Rinse and drain the canned beans. Stir in beans, tomatoes, and half of the can of chicken broth; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes.

so yeah, i basically followed this recipe however, I found mine to be bit watery from the can of diced tomatoes with green chilies so i opted out from adding the chicken broth and used goya sofrito (sofrito = yum) to turn it into the perfect consistency.  i also added a couple of dashes of cumin and topped it with some sour cream.  the chili ended up being pretty spicy so the coolness of the sour cream was fab.  

another reason this recipe is cool: you can throw it together in like 2o mins, so its especially great for those nights after work when your broke and already hungry.